


In the Oven

by Phandabbydosey



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Abandonment, Adoption, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Bullying, Disapproving Family, Drama, Family Angst, Harassment, Hospitalization, Injury, Injury During Pregnancy, M/M, Mpreg, Teen Pregnancy, Violence, kicked out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9370982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandabbydosey/pseuds/Phandabbydosey
Summary: Son to the owners of one of the country’s biggest companies, Daniel Howell has to be the perfect child, lest he ruin the reputation his parents worked so hard to build. He has his life all planned out, right down to the last detail. But getting pregnant at only sixteen years old was not part of that plan and Dan struggles to cope as his carefully structured world starts to fall apart around him.





	1. Prologue

Dan shoved his shaking fist into his mouth, biting down against his knuckles in a pathetic attempt to quash his loud, obnoxious sobbing. He was curled up into a trembling ball on the floor of the hospital toilets, for once not caring about the grime and filth that would be covering the tiles.

                This couldn’t be happening. It couldn’t. He was sixteen, he was supposed to be doing his AS Levels in eight months, then his A Levels and then university. This couldn’t be happening.

                The GP’s voice was ringing in his ears, one word echoing over and over again. He hadn’t even heard as the woman explained the options and support available to him, his ears were ringing too loudly and his thoughts were deafening.

                How would he explain this to Phil? Phil was sweet and kind and accepting and had supported Dan through everything, but would this just be too much? This wasn’t a night long breakdown over exam stress that could be solved with a cuddle and some chocolate, this was…this was really serious. It was responsibility and commitment and … Fuck, they were only sixteen. How were they going to handle this?

                Then Dan realised he was going to have to tell him parents and his whole body shuddered as he gave in to the sobs. They were going to kill him. They were the elite, owners the country’s top confectionary company, the top of the social ladder and they wouldn’t accept this. Their son was the perfect poster child; he had straight A*s at GCSE and he was headed for Cambridge to study medicine with intent to become a world class neurosurgeon. Dan had just about gotten them to accept that he was dating Phil, but he had a suspicion that they only approved the relationship because it would make them seem oh so tolerant. The papers had gotten wind of the news questioningly fast.

                But this, this would be too much. This was something that would get sly comments about ‘commoners’ and ‘whores’ when it came up on the news, a situation that could never arise with their faultless son.

                It was something that Dan hadn’t even thought was possible. He didn’t even know his family had a history of the Carrier gene, let alone that it was present in his own DNA, giving him the organs required for his life to be ruined.

                He let out another loud sob, his cheeks sodden with tears and his throat rubbed raw by the harshness of his cries.

                This couldn’t be happening.

                He couldn’t be pregnant.

 


	2. Chapter 1

It had just been a normal high school party, too many bodies crammed into a parentless house, a heavy beat and strong drinks fuelling the dancing and the hormones into the early hours of the morning.

Dan and Phil had spent a few hours soaking up the atmosphere and making out on the couch before Dan had begun to grind against Phil and let his hands wander down to into his boxers, making the other boy laugh drunkenly before dragging his brown haired boyfriend upstairs into a bedroom.

The next thirty minutes or so were filled with sloppy kisses and slurred declarations of love, which soon transformed into cries of pleasure. It was clumsy and they both started giggling more than a few times when the other did something wrong, but the overall atmosphere was one of love and passion.

They only just remembered to use lube and had given up with the condom after Phil had missed his cock for the third time. They both trusted each other to be clean - they’d been going out for almost a year and half after all – and it wasn’t as if they had to worry about Dan getting pregnant.

Dan’s parents had never told him he was a Carrier, they’d pushed the information aside as soon as the doctor mentioned it. Dan was a smart, classy boy and – even if his sexuality meant pregnancy was a possibility – they knew he’d never do something as reckless and irresponsible as have unprotected sex. Besides, Carriers were heavily stigmatized and should the news get out that their son was one, it could really damage the reputation of their business

Of course, they’d never thought he’d be quite as much of a party animal as he was, but still they kept the information to themselves.

——————————————–

It wasn’t until he’d been feeling ill for over a week that Dan decided to go to the doctors. He’d been throwing up at least once a day, sometimes more. It was worse in the mornings or when he got a whiff of particularly pungent smells. Dan had been planning on just riding it out, having convinced himself it was just a stomach bug that would pass soon. But, after he’d sprinted out of a dinner party his parents had been holding to throw up, set off by the smell of the smoked salmon he’d been served, he’d been forced to make himself an appointment.

He’d chosen to go by himself after school, assuming they’d just tell him to rest and drink plenty of fluids. There was no point wasting his parents’ time just for that. Also, he was sixteen years old, he didn’t need his mum to take him to the doctor anymore, no matter how much he hated doctors.

There was a reason Dan didn’t like going to the doctors, mainly the smell and the constant worry that he was exposing himself to some sort of killer virus by sitting in the waiting room. But, after that appointment, he came to hate the uncertainty of what he’d find out even more.

He’d been more than a little confused when, after describing his symptoms, the GP had asked him for a urine sample. He was sure those were used for things like infections or troubles with digestion; he only had a stomach bug, so why did he need to do a urine sample.

When he returned from the toilets and handed the little pot over, the GP left, telling him she’d only be a moment and might have a diagnosis upon return. Dan couldn’t help the anxiety that started to gnaw at his stomach.       

The anxiety soon turned to disbelief and panic, along with the feeling that the world was falling apart around him. This sort of thing didn’t happen, not to normal teenage boys.

He’d heard plenty of stories of people who came to the GP with a headache, only to leave with the news they had a terminal brain tumour and only three weeks to live. Dan’s news certainly wasn’t that bad, but it did feel a little like his own life was ending while a new one grew inside him.

—————————————-

Dan was both grateful for the fact he was alone, so far only he knew about the baby and he could plan out his explanations in his own time, and kind of wished he had someone there to comfort him, someone to share the burden with.

Even with the breakdown in the toilets, Dan thought he handled everything pretty well. He managed to calm himself down within fifteen minutes and was able to book himself in for his 12 week scan with only a slight tremor in his voice.

The receptionist gave him a pitiful smile and handed him some leaflets (general advice for pregnancies, helplines and things more specific to his situation) and a small slip with his scan date on it before sending him on his way. The surgery was quite a distance from Dan’s house but he chose not to catch the bus or call a taxi; he figured a long walk in the brisk November air was just what he needed to stop his head from spinning so sickeningly.

Bundled up in his thick winter coat, scarf snaked tightly around his neck and his hands shoved deep into his pockets, Dan began his long walk home. His head was lowered to watch the pavement and he could see his breath forming little clouds in front of his face. His thoughts were racing and swirling into a big confusion mess, so he let himself take deep breaths of the fresh air as he tried to sort through them.

First thing first, he had a baby growing inside of him. A real, individual person who he’d have to give birth to in about nine months then look after for the rest of his life. The enormity of that hit Dan and he felt nausea flood his veins, so he decided it was best to sit down on one of the benches lining the path. He’d have to provide for another person, teach them and protect them. He’d have to be a parent when he was still just a child himself.

Dan put his head in his hands as he felt himself starting to cry again, feeling his perfectly planned out future slipping away into oblivion. The GP had said the baby would probably be due around August, meaning Dan would be in the last few months of pregnancy when exams arrived. No way was he going to be able to get A’s when he probably wouldn’t even be able to fit behind the desk. Then there was university. How the hell was he supposed to complete a medical degree when he had a young child to look after?

And who knew how many of his family and friends were still going to be there at that point. Phil could dump him, his parents could disown him and he’d be left all on his own with a baby to care for and a bleak looking future.

Dan didn’t bother trying to hold back the sobs this time, he just let the harsh, ugly sounds tear through his chest and burst from his mouth. Luckily, the street was quiet and no one passed the bawling boy sat hunched over on a bench, weeping for his lost future.

After his little meltdown-stop, Dan had spent the rest of the walk home planning out what he was going to do, or trying to at least. He’d been hoping to have everything laid out and ready, but he got home feeling more lost than ever. He’d found himself going round and round in circles, bouncing between reasoning how bad people would react if he didn’t tell them and they found of for themselves and being terrified of having to tell them.

He’d forced a fake smile onto his face when he greeted his parents, telling them it was just a stomach bug and that he wanted to go up and have a rest.

That was the first of many lies that would pass Dan’s lips in the coming weeks.

 


	3. Chapter 2

He wanted to tell Phil right away - he really had planned too - but when he kissed Phil good morning at school the day after his appointment, he couldn’t ignore the little voice that said, _“You’re going to lose all of this. He’s going to freak out, call you a whore and leave you. You’ll lose him because why the hell would he want to be with a knocked up, teenage Carrier?”_

So, Dan didn’t tell Phil. He smiled sweetly and let his hand slip into Phil’s, letting the other boy hold him close to his side as they walked into school. Dan leant into his boyfriend, letting the smell of his aftershave fill his nostrils as he soaked up the feeling of being loved. A feeling he could lose all too soon.

Phil could tell that Dan was acting a little differently, could see through the smile and into the worry that lay deep in Dan’s eyes. He’d always been good at reading Dan’s emotions.

“Hey, you feeling okay?” Phil leant over and questioned Dan after, during English, the teacher had shouted at Dan for staring out the window for the fourth time. Dan was normally attentive and focused in school, he’d never usually let himself zone out so much.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Dan muttered, shrugging and looking down at his book so Phil didn’t see the lie on his face.

“Dan, I can tell you’re not,” Phil whispered back, his voice hushed so the teacher wouldn’t pick up on it. Luckily, they sat close to the back so their conversation remained private, “You’re not paying any attention to the teachers, in maths you didn’t do any of the work at all. There’s something bothering you, I can tell.”

Dan loved how much Phil cared about him and how attentive he was to his feelings, it’d been a godsend when Dan overworked himself during his exams, but right then he’d really wished Phil was a bit more oblivious. “It’s just…” Dan bit his lip as he tried to think up a convincing lie. He considered telling Phil the truth, but this was neither the time nor place to drop such a bombshell, “I’ve had a stomach bug recently. It’s distracting and I haven’t been doing my homework so I’m just worrying about missing work. It’s nothing really, just me being a massive nerd.”

Phil chuckled and Dan internally sighed with relief, knowing Phil had accepted his excuse. “You’re such a dork,” Phil smiled affectionately, leaning over to kiss Dan’s cheek sweetly before turning more serious, “But really, if you’re feeling so ill that you can’t concentrate then maybe you should go home? And perhaps you should go to the doctors?”

“I’ve already been, they just said I needed rest and fluids.”

“School isn’t rest,” Phil scolded lightly, knowing Dan had a tendency to put school work above his well being, “You’re going home and resting whether you like it or not.”

And with that, Phil’s hand shot into the air and, soon enough, Dan had been given permission to go to the nurse. Phil knew Dan hated confrontation so, by announcing to the teacher that Dan wasn’t feeling well and needed to go home, Phil had ensured he’d get no more resistance from Dan. He’d just go along with it to avoid contradicting the teacher.

Dan was somewhat glad to be going home, he really was in no mental state to be analysing The Tempest or solving simultaneous equations. Maybe if he took a couple days off then he’d be able to work up the courage to tell Phil that they were going to be parents.

————————————————

Dan swallowed thickly as he looked in the mirror, standing side on and staring at his stomach. One hand was holding his shirt up and the other was gently running across the slightly swelled skin above his hips.

He was about ten weeks along now and he still hadn’t told anyone. He’d planned it out countless times, but he always chickened out just before he did it. He’d been trying to find out as much as he could about pregnancies using the internet and the helplines he’d been given at the doctors, making sure to always wait until he was home alone and deleting his browser history accordingly so there was no chance of his parents stumbling across the information.

Dan pressed against his stomach slightly and felt the firmness, erasing all doubt in his mind about what the swelling was. It was the baby. He’d been hoping he’d follow the average, start showing sometime after the twelve week mark to give him some more time to prepare, but it seemed his naturally thin body meant his stomach was going to start it’s giveaway growth a little earlier.

Dan knew hiding his ‘problem’ was going to just get tougher and tougher, but still he pushed that thought aside and pulled his school shirt down. He grimaced at the tightness of the white material around his abdomen, the way his little bump pushed against it and made it ever so slightly taught. It wasn’t obvious, but if you were looking closely enough you could see the difference. Dan cursed his liking for tight clothing and pulled his blazer on, fastening the buttons to hide his shirt.

Thankfully, the morning sickness had settled down so Dan could function a lot more normally. He went down for breakfast with his parents before headed out to catch the bus. He settled into a seat and put his headphones in, his hand subconsciously moving across his stomach.

“Hey there!” Dan jumped a little when Phil swung into the seat next to him, whipping his hand from where it was resting, but smiled once his mind registered who it was.

“You almost gave me a fucking heart attack,” Dan muttered, pulling out his headphones and kissing Phil’s cheek, “I still don’t understand how you can be so bloody energetic in the mornings.”

“It’s because I’m a beautiful ray of sunshine,” Phil said with a smirk, playfully poking Dan’s stomach.

Dan stiffened and froze when Phil touched him, forcing himself to calm down straight after but Phil had seen it. He’d probably felt how Dan’s belly was bigger and firmer too.

_Shit shit shit_

“You okay?” Phil’s voice was quiet and careful, concern shining in his bright blue eyes.

Dan nodded, offering Phil a shaky smile. He got an unimpressed look in response but Phil didn’t say anything else.

Dan had been brushing Phil’s concerns off for over two months now; he knew an ‘intervention’ was headed his way soon.

—————————————————–

Dan didn’t have to wait long, Phil confronted him about his strange behaviour that very evening. They were cuddling on the sofa in Phil’s house, Dan wearing one of Phil’s baggy hoodies and shoving Doritos into his mouth from the bowl on Phil’s lap.

Dan whined when Phil moved the bowl onto the coffee table, about to complain until he saw the look on Phil’s face.

“Dan,” he said slowly, as if he was reading from a pre-planned speech, “I know something’s wrong and I appreciate there must be a reason you’ve been keeping it from me, but I’m worried. You’ve been really withdrawn and you flinch or go stiff when I touch you sometimes. And you’ve been doing your blazer up and wearing baggy clothes, even though you usually go on a massive rant about how anything that’s not skin tight makes you look fat. What’s going on Dan?”

“Noth-“

“Don’t you dare Dan, don’t you dare. I know it’s not nothing. Are…Are you self-harming again Dan?”

During his GCSEs, when all the stress and pressure were getting too much, before Phil had stepped in, Dan had fallen into a depression. He’d self-harmed, nothing that had left lasting scars but Phil had still taken it seriously. He understood that Dan was using it as a coping mechanism so he offered as much support as he could without taking the control away from Dan. It’d taken a little while and a lot of work, but by the start of Year 12 Dan was clean. He’d promised Phil he’d speak to him should he ever get to that place again, but Phil always worried that Dan would brush it off until it was too late then feel too guilty to speak up.

“No, no no God no Phil,” Dan said quickly, sitting up and looking Phil in the eye so he knew he was being honest. He may not have wanted to tell Phil the truth, but he wouldn’t let Phil think for a second that he’d fallen back into that state of mind. It’d broken Phil’s heart and Dan was determined not to do that to him again. It’d been a mistake because he’d been too ignorant to realise things were getting too much for him. He knew now that he had to speak up when he got stressed, and he knew Phil would always be there as a confidant.

Phil sighed with relief but the concern remained. “Then what is it? I’m worried about you Dan.”

“I…Promise you won’t shout at me? You can dump me and banish me from your house and never see me again and I’ll understand, but please don’t shout at me.”

“What are you on about? Why would I ever want to break up with you Dan?”

Dan ignored Phil’s questions, instead pushing up the hoodie and softly moving Phil’s hand to rest on his stomach. He closed his eyes against the confused look on Phil’s face, taking a deep breath to compose himself before speaking, his voice a scared whisper. “I…I’m pregnant Phil. I didn’t know I was a Carrier and there was that party where we didn’t use protection and I thought it was a stomach bug but I went to the doctors and they-they told me I was pregnant.”

Phil was silent for almost a minute, Dan waiting with baited breath for the screaming and angry words to start. He felt Phil’s hand start to move and tensed, wondering if he was going to be shoved off the sofa before Phil dumped him.

But Phil’s movements were gentle, his slender fingers moving to feel the tiny bump properly. “Oh Dan, sweetheart did you really think I was going to get angry with you over this; something you had no control over?”

Dan answered with a meek, “Yes,” and Phil leant down, kissing him lovingly and wrapping his arms around Dan properly. Dan felt hope fluttering up in his chest. Maybe this wouldn't be the end of him and Phil.

“I love you Dan and this is…this is massive but we’ll get through it together. Just like we always do,” Phil punctuated his words with little kisses, wanting to reassure Dan that he was still as loved as before. Then he froze, “Wait, that…stomach bug was in November, have you known about this for two months?”

Dan swallowed thickly and nodded, feeling Phil sigh deeply before kissing him again.

“Dan, you idiot. I bet you’ve been scared out of your mind that whole time too. You should’ve told me, it must’ve been horrible to deal with that on your own.”

“I’m sorry,” Dan whispered, his voice choked with emotion because Phil was taking the news better than Dan could’ve ever imagined, “I-I was just scared. I didn’t know how you were going to react and I-I…I didn’t want to lose you.”

“I’ll never leave you over something you can’t help, especially not just to make things easier for myself. I love you Dan, and I’ll stand by you through anything.”

Dan finally let himself smile, a true smile. His future still held a lot of uncertainty but there was one thing that would stay constant, one thing he wouldn’t lose because of the baby growing inside him.

Phil.

 


	4. Chapter 3

It was two weeks since Dan had revealed his secret to Phil and, after promising not to tell anyone else until Dan said, they’d both dropped the subject for the time being. Dan had seen Phil throwing glances at his stomach but he ignored it, knowing that it would take some time for Phil to come to terms with what was inside, even if he promised Dan he was fine.

Phil had been helping Dan cover up his stomach, even going as far as to buy him some new, bigger school shirts so Dan could feel less conspicuous with his slowly growing bump. Dan was constantly worrying that the bump was noticeable, that his parents or the other people at school would see it and work out what was happening. He knew it was inevitable, it was already clear that his baby bump was going to be big, but he wanted to put things off as long as he could.

Phil was a little concerned about Dan’s attitude. He knew that the brown haired boy was scared of judgement, but Phil was worried that things would just get worse the longer they left it. He let Dan carry on the way he was though, knowing that Dan needed to handle this in his own way. Phil would just be there to support him no matter what.

Phil smiled as he walked down the bus and took his usual seat beside Dan, shivering a little from the cold air outside. He kissed Dan’s cheek and put his bag on the floor before noticing the slight frown that was set into his boyfriend’s face.

“What’s up?” Phil asked casually, though he couldn’t keep the worry out of his eyes, “Is something wrong?”  
“No, no everything’s fine it’s just…” Dan sighed deeply and lowered his voice to an unobtrusive whisper, leaning closer to Phil so there was no chance of the other people overhearing, “I’ve got my twelve week scan tonight. I’m a bit scared.”

“Dan, why didn’t tell me?” Phil whispered back, slipping his hand into Dan’s and giving it a comforting squeeze, “I said I’d be with you for this and I meant it. Do you want me to come along?”

Dan bit his lip and nodded, holding onto Phil’s hand tightly. He still couldn’t get over just how perfect Phil had been about all this. He’d been pure gold.

“Right, I’ll meet you outside school at the end of the day. We’ll catch the 56 over to the hospital.”

——————————————–

“Stop shaking, everything’s going to be fine,” Phil whispered, his hand moving to rest on Dan’s knee. It’d been bouncing up and down and Phil knew it was the nerves, but the sound was annoying as hell and he didn’t want to get kicked out or anything.

They’d come to the Carrier Maternity Ward of the hospital on the other side of the city, Dan not wanting to go to the closest one in case someone they knew saw them. Phil had told him he was being a bit paranoid, that they didn’t even know any other Carriers let alone any pregnant ones, but Dan had been adamant they needed to be as careful as possible.

“Sorry, I just-I know I don’t need to be nervous but I am,” Dan muttered, biting his thumbnail roughly, “I mean, I’m going to see the baby. I won’t be able to pretend I’m just getting a bit chubby anymore, I’ll have to face the fact I’m…pregnant.”

Dan breathed out the last word shakily and Phil moved his hand to hold Dan’s, squeezing it. He found himself doing that a lot lately.

“I know, it’s all going to be real after today,” Phil sighed, “But we’ll get through this. We’ll speak to the person doing your scan and see if they can offer us any advice. It’ll be better to actually talk to someone rather than just reading leaflets and webpages. It might help make things feel a little less terrifying.”

Dan nodded and winced as he bit past the quick of his nail, shoving it under his thigh so he couldn’t chew on it anymore. He glanced around the quiet waiting room and his cheeks darkened, his head lowering a little, shamefully.

Phil noticed and shot a sharp look at the man opposite them who’d pretty much been gawking at them. Phil knew they looked odd and maybe they should’ve gone home to change out of their school uniform before coming here, but some of these people were being just plain rude. “Ignore them, just ignore them.”

“I’m trying; it’s hard when they’re all looking at me like I’ve got an extra head though. This is what everyone’s going to be like when I start showing properly.”

Phil opened his mouth to argue, but was cut off when a dark skinned young man in blue scrubs walked into the room and called Dan’s name. Feeling Dan seize up beside him, Phil wrapped an arm around his waist and carefully guided Dan out of his seat and into the room behind the man.

“Right Dan, you lay down on that bed there while we wait for the doctor,” the man said with a bright smile and Phil felt Dan relax a little against his side. Dan clung onto Phil’s hand as he climbed onto the bed, Phil sitting in the chair beside it, “I’m Kyle and I’ll be your midwife throughout your prenatal, birth and postnatal care so we should get to know each other pretty well.”

Dan didn’t say anything, but he smiled and nodded at Kyle. Phil was glad this guy seemed friendly and that Dan would have some consistency in who was working with him. Anything that could make this whole ordeal even marginally kinder was certainly needed.

Kyle spoke to them about how everything would work, both during this scan and throughout the run up to Dan’s due date. He explained when each of the scans and check-ups would be, how they’d come up with a birthing plan and what extra support was available for Dan because of his age. He seemed really nice and just generally made everything seem much less daunting for the two teenage boys, even if Dan looked a little paler than usual when Kyle talked about the actual birth.

They were soon interrupted by the doctor, a middle aged man with a kind smile and laughter lines creasing his face. He introduced himself as Dr. Kent and asked Dan a few questions about how he’d been feeling before telling him to lift his shirt.

Dan’s lip was firmly clamped between his teeth as he pushed his school shirt up, exposing his tiny baby bump. He watched with wide brown eyes and Dr. Kent carefully felt around the bulge, pressing down slightly in a few places and occasionally noting something down.

“Well, you’re starting to show earlier than expected but that could easily be due to your build. Nothing to worry about,” the doctor reassured as he prepared the ultrasound and pulled out a bottle of bright blue gel, “This might be a bit cold.”

He squirted the gel onto Dan’s stomach and Phil couldn’t help but snigger when Dan gasped, Dan glaring at him in retaliation. “Sorry,” Phil murmured, kissing Dan’s hand and running his thumb over the other’s knuckles as Dr. Kent pressed the transducer onto Dan’s stomach. Phil could pretty much see the nerves reverberating through Dan’s slightly trembling body.

It took a few moments, but soon enough the little screen was turned towards the boys. “Here’s your baby,” Dr. Kent said quietly, a small smile on his face as he pointed to the greyish blob on the black screen, “Here’s the head and, it’s lying a bit funny but you can just about see it’s legs and feet here.”

Phil’s mouth opened slightly as he looked at the blurry image on the screen, not really recognising any shapes other than the roundness of the baby’s head. He felt a bizarre range of emotions run through him; fear, uncertainty, worry but also a strange swell of love and pride. That was his child, right on the screen in front of him.

The positive emotions were soon swept away when he looked at Dan’s face, the boy looking like he was just about ready to burst into tears. Phil could see the confliction in his eyes and guessed Dan was experiencing similar emotions to himself, but it was obvious that the prevailing feeling for Dan right now was fear. Of course it was, he was sixteen and he was sitting here looking at the baby that was growing inside of him. He was too young for this, and they both knew it.

“It seems to be healthy, good size and development,” Dr. Kent went on, seemingly oblivious to the how the boys were reacting, “Judging by the size, you’re twelve weeks along so your due is going to be early August. We’ll get a more specific date at your next scan.”

Dan just nodded along numbly, looking shell shocked and keeping his gaze on the little monitor. Kyle noticed the look on his face and stood up from where he’d been sat making notes of the doctor’s words. He whispered something to the older man, who promptly shut off the ultrasound, making Dan noticeably relax. He checked if Dan had any questions – getting a silent shake of the head in response – then left the boy’s in Kyle’s care, telling them that he’d see them at Dan’s next check-up.

“How’re you feeling about all this Dan?” he asked as he cleaned the gel off Dan’s tanned stomach, “It must all be very scary.”

“Yeah, scary’s a pretty accurate way to describe it,” Dan muttered flatly, making Kyle release a small chuckle.

“What’s scaring you the most?” he probed gently.

“Just…everything,” Dan sighed, letting his head fall back against the paper covered bed, “I guess I’m most worried about what people will think. You hear so many horrible comments about teenagers who get pregnant and now I know people will be saying those things about me. Phil was amazing about it but I know that I was really lucky, people are going to be a lot less accepting.”

Phil gave Dan’s hand a squeeze as Kyle nodded along, genuinely listening to the youngster’s worries. “I can see where you’re coming from and I’m afraid we can’t really do much to stop people seeing you in a bad way. But we’ve got all sorts of support for you and your family if you need it. Have you told your parents about this yet, Dan?”

Dan shook his head and panic flashed across his face. Phil saw Kyle notice this, but luckily the midwife didn’t press the issue any further.

“What about plans for after the birth? Have you thought about that at all?”

“No, I’ve kind of just been focusing on the actual being pregnant thing for now. I guess I just assumed I’d have to find a way to look after the baby,” Dan said, glancing at Phil who swallowed thickly at the idea of looking after a baby. He struggled with looking after the family hamster.

Kyle watched a similar look cross Dan’s face and stood up, collecting a few leaflets and handing them to Dan. “Looking after the baby yourself isn’t the only option. It’s a huge responsibility and you’re both still very young yourselves, maybe looking into adoption would be a good idea. We can put you in contact with a good agency and help you through the process. You have plenty of time until you have to decide though, so just give it some thought for now.”

Dan looked down at the leaflets and nodded, his hand moving to rest on his stomach as he thought. His baby could have a proper pair of parents, ones who would be ready and financially stable enough to properly care for a child. And Dan would be able to get his life back, he could repeat Year 12 and then maybe he’d still be able to get into medical school. Surely it was the best solution to this problem.

Dan shoved the leaflets into his school bag and smiled slightly towards Kyle. “Thank you, this is-you’ve been really great today.”

“It’s my pleasure, I want to help make this pregnancy go as smoothly as possible,” Kyle grinned, deliberating for a moment before leaning over to give Dan a quick hug, “If you have any questions or worries or need anything then don’t hesitate to contact me. Just call the Maternity Ward and ask for Kyle Malik. Or, ring me on this number if I’m not on shift. Don’t worry about the time, but I’d rather you didn’t ring in the middle of the night unless it’s an emergency,” Kyle handed Dan a small piece of paper, “Do you have any more questions for now?”

Dan shook his head and looked at Phil, offering for him to ask anything he wanted.

“Um, no. No there’s nothing really at the moment,” Phil said after thinking a moment and drawing up blank. This whole situation was muddling his thoughts to the point he couldn’t really think of much more than what was going on in the present, “I’m sure we’ll think of plenty of questions as we go along though.”

“I’m sure you will,” Kyle laughed then let his expression soften as he turned to face Dan, “I understand if you don’t, but would you like me print a picture of the ultra sound for you to take home?”

Dan hesitated, then nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think I’d regret it if I didn’t get one.” Kyle nodded and left the room, telling them he’d only be a moment.

“He seems really nice,” Phil commented once they were alone, perching himself up on the examination bed beside Dan, “And it’s good that you’ll have the same midwife for the whole thing.”

“Yeah, I like him,” Dan murmured as Kyle walked back in, an envelope in his hand.

“I put it in an envelope so you can keep it a bit more hidden,” he explained, passing the small paper pouch over to Phil as Dan sat up properly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, “And I think that wraps everything for today. You’ll need to book a check-up for a few weeks time so we can make sure everything is still going smoothly so I’ll see you then.”

“Thank you, you’ve been really great,” Phil shook Kyle’s hand, laughing when he was pulled into a hug by the caring midwife. Dan received the same treatment when he stood up.

Soon enough, Dan and Phil were walking out of the hospital and waiting at the bus stop, the next appointment booked and all the papers safely tucked into Dan’s bag.

“How’re you feeling?” Phil asked, looking over at Dan who was illuminated by the orange street light above them. It was January so night time set it early, meaning it was already dark even though it was barely half past five.

“Okay,” Dan whispered, his voice as soft as the cloud created by his breath, “I’m still scared but…yeah, I feel okay.”

Phil grinned and wrapped his arm around Dan, pulling him into a side hug. Maybe things would be alright after all.

 


	5. Chapter 4

The two boys went back to Phil’s after Dan’s scan, Dan wanting to have a little longer with his boyfriend before he went home and had to put on his fake smile once again. They’d settled upstairs on Phil’s bed, Phil working on some maths while Dan read through the leaflets Kyle had given them.

Finishing the section he was doing, work Dan had managed to finish in class, Phil looked up, stealing some crisps from the bag in Dan’s lap. “What does it say?” he asked, pushing himself up onto his elbows, ready to offer some comfort should Dan need it.

He was calm though, carefully reading through the information on the paper in front of him. “It seems like a really good idea actually,” Dan murmured, his eyes flicking back and forth as he read, “It says we’d get to look through the applicants and then meet them as many times as we want before we give our consent. And we can talk about how much contact we can have with the child and stuff like that. If we get it all sorted before the baby’s born then we have two weeks to change our mind too.”

Phil nodded along, studying Dan’s face carefully as he spoke to gauge his feelings about this. He looked pretty content, leaving Phil feeling relieved. He was a little sad about the fact they’d give up the baby, but he knew it would be what was best. There was no way he and Dan would be able to look after it properly, not when they were only sixteen. “It sounds really good,” Phil said, “And it means you’d be able to finish school properly and all that. Do you think you want to do it then? You’ll be okay giving the baby to someone else?”

“Yeah,” Dan nodded, his voice careful but firm, the voice of someone who was sure of what they wanted and had thought through it all. Phil doubted Dan had been thinking about little else since Kyle had mentioned adoption, “Yeah, it’ll be the best thing to do. For us and the baby.”

“I’m proud of you, Bear,” Phil moved to sit beside Dan, wrapping his arm around his waist and holding his boyfriend close, “You’re being so brave about this.”

Dan smiled and leant into Phil, a contented hum reverberating through his chest. “I love you,” he whispered, “So much.”

——————————————-

After making the decision about adoption, Dan seemed to have been given a shot of positivity. There was still a lot of worries on the young boy’s mind, but the concerns about what would happen once the baby was born had been lifted, making the distant future seem much more secure.

Dan’s life managed to run smoothly for just over a week, letting him finally start to feel somewhat settled, before it flipped right back over again, sending him tumbling back into a freefall of fear and uncertainty.

Dan had been making enquiries about adoptions, wanting to get things set in motion as quickly as possible in the hopes of getting things all sorted before the baby was born. He was still confident about his decision, sure it was ideal, but Dan still found himself looking at the picture of the ultrasound with a hand gently resting on his stomach. He knew it was a risky move to do this at home, but it was almost midnight and he was sure his family was all asleep. It wasn’t the first time he’d done this either, so he felt pretty safe.

“No, I need to stop this. I’m putting it up for adoption, getting attached will just make things worse,” Dan whispered to himself, shoving the picture back into the envelope with a sigh and a shake of his head. He gathered the pregnancy leaflets he’d been reading through and got to his feet, heading over to the wardrobe where he’d been hiding all of the baby-related things.

But he got himself caught up in the duvet, the fabric seeming to grab hold his foot and sending him down to the floor with a heavy thump. He twisted his body to keep the impact off his stomach, but that meant he landed on his back, knocking the wind from his lungs and stunning him for a moment. The paper’s he’d been carrying flew from his hands, scattering haphazardly across his bedroom floor.

He heard the sound of footsteps hurrying towards his room and he could only lie there, gasping to get his breath back, as his parents hurried into his bedroom. “Dan! Oh god, are you okay?” his mum babbled, kneeling beside him and worriedly running her eyes over his body.

“Yeah, yeah I just-I just I was getting water and-I fell,” Dan muttered breathlessly, letting his mum help him up into a sitting position. Dan didn’t notice his father eyeing the papers on the carpet, “Mum seriously, I’m fine. Just a bit winded.”

Dan’s mother’s fussing was interrupted by a hard voice from over by Dan’s bed, one that made Dan’s blood run ice cold and his stomach drop to the floor. “Dan, would you care to explain this?”

Dan was completely frozen, his wide brown eyes fixated on the tanned hands of his father. One was holding all of Dan’s leaflets, detailing pregnancy and adoption, and an empty white envelope. The other held his ultrasound scan. His dad was holding his ultrasound scan and _fuck_ how the hell was he going to explain this.

“What is it Thomas?” Dan’s mum stood up and walked over to her husband, her eyebrows knitting together as she looked over the picture in his hand, “Dan…Why on earth do you have an ultrasound picture?”

“I-I-It’s-uh-It’s a school project-“

“Don’t lie to us,” Dan’s father’s harsh voice cut across his shaky stammer as he dragged Dan to his feet, jerking the boy’s shirt up and eyeballing his engorged stomach, “Are you pregnant?”

Dan was screwed. He could actually see the rage building in his father’s face and he was surprised the man didn’t turn red when he nodded meekly.

“You common little whore!” the roar filled Dan’s bedroom and made him cower, his head snapping to side as his father slapped him with all his strength. Tears brimmed in his eyes as more angry words shot from his father’s mouth and straight through his heart, “We raised you better than this! You’re a respectable young man, not some trashy, cheap slut!”

“It’s not my fault,” Dan whimpered, his voice weak and pathetic in comparison to his father’s fierce bellowing, “You didn’t tell me I was a Carrier. I would’ve been more careful if I’d known!”

“You should’ve been careful anyway!” his mother snapped sharply, Dan’s tears overflowing because he’d hoped she’d be at least a little compassionate. Apparently not.

“How far along are you?” Dan’s father asked, his arms crossed across his chest, the anger still very much present in his tone.

“A-Around thirteen weeks,” Dan sniffled, hastily wiping away his tears and holding in a whimper when he pressed against his cheek. It felt like it was going to bruise for sure.

“Thank goodness, we can still get this all cleared up before anyone finds out,” Dan’s dad sighed, relief flowing into his voice and pushing the anger to the side a little.

“Wh-What do you mean?” Dan asked cautiously, thrown by the sudden move swing.

“I’ll phone the hospital in the morning and we’ll book you an appointment for later in the day. The sooner we get that baby out of you the better.”

“You-You want me to get an abortion?!” Dan gasped, his hand flying to his stomach as he took a subconscious step away from his father. His pregnancy may have been unplanned, but he wasn’t going to just kill the baby because of a mistake he’d made, especially not when adoption gave him the option to give it the future it deserved. Some situations meant abortion was a necessity, but to Dan this wasn’t one of them.

“Of course, you weren’t really planning on going all the way through with this were you? You’re sixteen Daniel; you have your exams and your future to think of. You can’t have a baby.”

“I-I can’t just kill it though. I’ll put it up for adoption then go back to school.”

“You really think you’re going to be able to do that?” Dan’s father laughed harshly, shaking his head, “People will all find out how much of a whore you are if go through with this. Everyone will know you’re a skank who got pregnant at sixteen and you’re life will be ruined.”

“N-No it won’t, you’re just worried the press will find out!” Dan cried, the words sending another wave of tears rolling down his face, “You’re scared about how this will affect your reputation.”

“Of course we’re worried about that, you could ruin everything we’ve built with this,” Dan’s mother piped up, standing up and moving beside her husband, “But this _w_ _ill_ ruin your future too. There’s no way Cambridge will want a medical student who was stupid enough to get themselves knocked up during their AS Levels.”

“Exactly,” Dan’s dad said, nodding affirmatively at his wife’s words and looking Dan in the eye when the boy shook his head, still holding his stomach protectively, “Fine, if you really want to throw your life away then be my guest, but you won’t be accepted in this family or house any longer.”

Dan’s legs almost gave way, tears cascading down his face unhindered as he gave into them. His parents were making him choose, between the baby and his family. An abortion would solve all this, only Phil and his parents knew so it could be neatly pushed under the rug and he could get on with his life.

But he could see the ultrasound picture in his father’s hand, a picture of the baby that was growing inside him, relying on him to protect it until it would be ready to come into the world. He couldn’t kill it, not just so he could get his old life back.

So he shook his head, watching as his father’s brown eyes hardened completely, all signs of the loving dad Dan had grown up with vanished.

“I expect you gone by the morning then. Goodbye Daniel.”

And then he left, Dan’s mother following after him without even looking back.

 

—————————————————-

It’d been tough to pack a bag when his vision was clouded with tears and his hands were shaking, but eventually Dan had gathered as much as could and was ready to go. He let out a few sobs, but managed to stay pretty composed. He didn’t want to break down until he was out of the house.

Pulling his bag onto his shoulder Dan took one more look around his room, feeling his chest aching as his eyes scanned the posters and pictures that he’d collected over the years. His caught sight of the little batch of photos he’d stuck to the wall beside his bed and he slowly walked over to them.

More tears dripped down his face as gently pulled one off, looking into his younger self’s smiling face, his parents each with an arm around him and smiling just as widely. It’d been on a beach straight out of someone’s paradise while they were on holiday in India two years ago. It’d been one of the best holidays Dan had ever been on and, even though he’d just been disowned, he still folded the photo and slipped it into his jean pockets.

He then walked out of his bedroom, the room he’d slept in and called his own for sixteen years, letting out a sob as he closed the door for what was probably the final time.

He didn’t say goodbye to his parents, their bedroom door was closed and his father’s tone had left no room for arguments; they didn’t consider him part of the family anymore. So, he left his family home, breaking into sobs as soon as the heavy door closed behind him.

He knew there was only one place he could go and, as much as he didn’t want to let anyone else find out about his situation, things really couldn’t get any worse for him. Besides, Phil would go mad if he hid this from him. So, half blinded by tears, Dan blundered his way to Phil’s house.

He felt a little bad about ringing the doorbell since it was almost two am but he couldn’t stay outside in the biting wind all night. Phil’s parents were lovely and promised Dan he’d be welcome any time, no matter what. He doubted they’d considered this exact scenario, but he held onto the hope that they’d at least let him stay the night.

After two more rings, Phil’s father opened the door, his irritated expression instant softening when he took in the image of his son’s boyfriend crying and shivering on his doorstep.

“Dan! What-What’re you doing here?” he gasped, quickly ushered Dan into the warmth of the house, “You’re going to freeze to death. Phil! Phil come down now please!”

“I-I’m sorry,” Dan stammered, struggling to speak around his sobs and shivers, “I-I did-n’t know where else to g-g-go.”

“It’s okay,” Phil’s dad obviously didn’t know how to handle the crying teenager and Dan saw the alleviation on his face as Phil bumbled into the room, his hair sticking up at all angles and his glasses laying crooked on his nose. As soon as he saw Dan and the state he was in, Dan found himself enveloped in a crushing embrace, the smell of his boyfriend surrounding him.

“What happened Dan?” Phil asked hurriedly, pulling away from the hug and cupping Dan’s face, his eyes scanning the tanned face and homing in on the bruise that was forming on Dan’s cheek, “Oh god, are you okay? What happened?”

“Th-They found out Phil,” Dan babbled, “Mum and dad found out and-and they said I have to get rid of it so I said no and they k-kicked me out. Th-They said I wasn’t welcome in the family anymore.”

Phil didn’t need to ask what Dan’s parents had found out, there was only one thing going on in Dan’s life that would provoke this sort of response. The baby.

“It’s okay Dan, you can stay here as long as you need to,” Phil whispered, pulling Dan in for another hug. He could see his father’s perplexed face  over Dan’s shoulder and just shook his head, silently telling him he’d explain later.

“Th-Thank you,” Dan sobbed, his tears soaking Phil’s shoulder, “I-They just told me to be gone by morning and they didn’t even say goodbye and my dad _hit_ me. He was so angry he hit me and called me a slut and a skank and-“ Dan dissolved into another round of hysterics, Phil just running his hands through his hair and trying to soothe him.

Eventually, Dan’s tears subsided and he was left with just the occasional hiccup or sniffle. Keeping a tight hold on him, Phil carefully led him upstairs, kissing him softly every so often. He helped Dan change into his pyjamas then settled him down in the bed.

“It’ll be okay Dan,” he whispered, gently running his fingers through Dan’s fringe as the boy’s eyes started to flutter closed. He must’ve been exhausted after his hellish night, “We’ll sort something out. It’ll be okay.”

“I hope so,” Dan mumbled, a lonely tear slipping out of his closed eyes and onto his cheek, “I’m sorry. I’ve messed everything up.”

“You haven’t. This is your parents’ fault for being intolerant and selfish. They should never have reacted the way they did. I’ll talk to my parents and we’ll sort it out. They’ll let you stay here as long as you need to, I’ll just need to explain it all to them. But I’ll do all that so don’t worry, just get some sleep.”

Dan nodded groggily and nuzzled his head into Phil’s hand slightly, his eyes fully closed and his breathing starting to slow. “Thank you.”

 


	6. Chapter 5

Dan had panicked when he first woke up, struggling to remember where he was and why his throat felt so coarse. He felt a body beside him and started to back away, only stopping when he heard a familiar - albeit very sleepy - voice.

“Dan? Dan you okay?” Phil mumbled around a yawn, pushing himself up on his elbow and switching on his lamp. Dan blinked rapidly as the darkness was suddenly broken and he realised he was in Phil’s bedroom. He hadn’t stayed over Phil’s though…

Oh.

Dan swallowed thickly to try and expel the lump that was forming in his throat, he didn’t want to have yet another breakdown in front of Phil. The stress probably wasn’t good for the baby either. “I…My parents kicked me out,” he whispered, still in a state of disbelief about the whole thing.

“Yeah, they did,” Phil sighed, lifting a hand and delicately stroking Dan’s cheek, watching him wince slightly as Phil touched the tender, discoloured skin, “But I’ve explained everything to my parents and they’re more than happy to have you stay with us for as long as you need to.  They’re a bit disappointed that I didn’t come to them sooner, but they understand that I was just doing what you wanted.”

“They’re really going to let me stay here?” Dan asked, his whispered words tinted with disbelief. After his parent’s reaction, he was reasonably weary about more people finding out.

“Yep, they even offered to change the study into a room for the baby but I explained that we were probably going to put it up for adoption.”

“Wow,” Dan breathed, slumping backwards to lay down again, pulling Phil with him so they could cuddle, “That’s…amazing of them. I’m never going to be able to make this up to them.”

“Don’t worry about that now,” Phil murmured, running his fingers through Dan’s hair and smiling fondly as Dan’s eyes started to droop. Even though it was ten am, it had been about 4am when Dan finally got to sleep. He must still be exhausted, “Just go to sleep. No need to worry about anything.”

—————————————

Things finally started to settle down for Dan after that. He went to school as usual and, even though it was getting harder and harder to hide his bump and do a full six hour day on his feet, he soon found himself at twenty five weeks.

His bump was getting pretty big and Dan knew people at school would work out soon enough what was happening. He’d already gotten a few comments about his ‘weight gain’, a few of the crueler kids calling him “fatty” more than a few times. He managed to brush it off though, knowing it was far from the truth.

On Phil’s parents’ suggestion, Dan had told a few of the teachers at school about the pregnancy. They’d been pretty good about it once Dan had assured them he was in a safe environment at home - he’d briefly explained about his parents but emphasised the fact that he was safe now - and offered him as much support as they could.

“Ugh, it’s getting so obvious now,” Dan whined, looking at himself in the mirror as he tried to fasten his blazer - which was two sizes bigger than his usual one and layered on top of multiple baggy t-shirts along with his school shirt - over his engorged stomach. He could still just about manage it, but it wouldn’t be much longer until the buttons would be noticeably straining and his stomach would protrude in a distinctly pregnant way, “People are going to work it out soon.”

Phil grimaced, knowing Dan was right, and moved to stand behind him. “I’d be lying if I said that they wouldn’t, but it’ll be okay,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around Dan and letting his hands rest on his belly, “You’ll have me here and the teachers all said they’d try their hardest to stop people bothering you.”

“I think we both know that won’t make a difference,” Dan sighed, his head falling back to rest on Phil’s shoulder, his eyes closing, “People are going to treat me like shit. Most of them have probably never even seen a Carrier and we both know how people react to Carriers when they don’t know anything about them.”

Phil stayed silent. They’d both seen the countless news articles about violence against Carriers, the pictures from protests against Carriers getting married or being allowed around children. Dan had even seen a popular online forum supporting forced sterilization of all Carriers; he’d had to slam his laptop shut because the words on his screen were making him feel sick.

The couple both just stood in silence, Dan’s hands moving up to rest beside Phil’s. Dan was leaning into Phil as they both held his stomach, so they both felt it at the same time. The tiny little nudge, right into the palm of Dan’s hand followed by a little shift throughout his stomach.

“I…Did you feel that?” Dan whispered, his eyes snapping open and flicking to look at Phil.

Phil looked just as surprised as Dan felt, and he gave a small nod in response, his mouth hanging open a little.

Dan quickly pushed his shirt up and pressed his hands into the bump, feeling Phil do the same moments later.

There it was again, that little push from the other side of his skin, this time closer to Phil’s hand. “It-It’s kicking,” Dan breathed, feeling a few tears starting to brim in his eyes as he felt the baby, the little life that was growing inside of him, moving around, “Phil, the baby’s kicking.”

Phil looked down at Dan, his own bright smile reflected on the other boy’s face. He knew they’d be giving the baby away, but there was still something so…extraordinary about feeling the little person inside of Dan shifting around and pushing out towards the big world outside. “It’s saying hello,” Phil snickered, leaning down to kiss Dan, feeling the other boy smile against his lip when there was another prod from inside him.

“Hello there,” Dan grinned, pulling away from the kiss and looking down at his stomach. His hand stroked across the bulbous skin tenderly, “Nice to finally hear from you.”

Phil laughed, but their sweet moment was interrupted when Phil’s mum appeared in the door, her question about whether they were ready yet being cut off when she saw how they were positioned.

“Everything okay boys?” she asked carefully, looking a little baffled by how smiley they were so early in the morning. Normally they were zombies until she saw them after school, “You seem unusually chirpy,”

“Yeah, the baby’s kicking,” Phil beamed, “We can feel it.”

“Oh, you two are so sweet,” Phil’s mum cooed and laughed softly, Dan joining her. He loved living with Phil’s parents, no more of coldness and ‘proper behaviour’ he’d had to live with when he was in his own, opulent home. Phil’s home was bright and friendly and Dan had felt a part of it from the moment he first visited, “But you’re going to be late so you better get going.”

Dan and Phil nodded, Dan pulling his shirt and blazer down before swinging his bag up onto his shoulder. He went to follow Phil out of the room, but Phil’s mum stopped him. She smoothed down his blazer and positioned it to hide the bump as best she could.

“Maybe we should get you bigger one,” she mumbled thoughtfully, running her fingers over the buttons, looking over the way they were starting to strain ever so slightly.

“Thank you, Jane, but I don’t want you to spend anymore money on me. You’ve already done so much.” Dan’s parents had cancelled all of his accounts a week after they’d kicked him out, leaving Dan totally reliant on Phil’s family to support him. He felt bad about it, of course he did, but he had no choice and both Phil and his parents insisted that they were more than happy to help him. Dan could see Phil’s mum about to protest so he quickly cut over her, “I mean, even with a bigger blazer, I’m not going to be able to hide it much longer. There’s no point in you buying another forty pound blazer when I won’t wear it for more than a few weeks. Thank you though.”

Jane smiled sadly and placed a hand on Dan’s arm, murmuring, “It’ll be okay,” before heading back downstairs. Dan let himself smile for a moment before following, slipping his hand into Phil’s as they left for school.

————————————-

It was only a few days later that people at school found out. Dan doesn’t even know how it happened, whether someone overheard teachers talking about it or just simply worked it out. It didn’t matter how they found out though, his most pressing issue was the angry red ‘WHORE’ spray painted onto his locker.

He heard a few mutterings around him when he was walking through the corridors earlier that day and his suspicions had been rising, but there was no other reason why those words would be scrawled onto his locker.

“Shit,” he heard Phil mutter behind him before he felt himself being gently turned away from the words. But he’d already seen them and so had everyone else. Everyone would know soon, “Dan it’s…it’ll be okay. We’ll go tell a teacher and get it cleaned and-and it’ll be fine.”  
  


Dan let Phil lead him away down the corridor, shell shocked. He thought he’d been prepared for this, accepted that it was inevitable and most likely just around the corner, but the big red letters were branded onto his retinas and it seemed like someone was sitting on his chest. He couldn’t breathe, not when everyone around him knew about the baby growing inside his abdomen.

Phil pulled him into a classroom and spun him around, holding Dan by him arms and forcing the trembling boy to look into his eyes. “Dan, Dan calm down,” Phil said, seeing the panic building in Dan’s eyes, “You need to breathe. C’mon, breathe with me.”

“They know, Phil they know oh god everyone knows,” Dan’s breath was getting shorter and shorter as he spoke in a hasty, rushed way, his head spinning faster and faster, “Everyone knows everyone knows _oh fuck everyone knows_.”

Phil swallowed thickly, searching his brain for some way to get through to his boyfriend and calm him down. But everything Dan was panicking about was true; everyone knew about the pregnancy and people were going to treat him awfully for it. “I…They do,” Phil muttered, swallowing thickly, “But you need to calm down, Dan. We can sort things out, but you need to calm down first.”

His breathing shallow and brisk, Dan stared into Phil’s eyes, the pale hands on his cheeks not letting him break the gaze. Painstakingly slowly, Dan started to calm down, colour returning to his clammy face. “What’re we going to do Phil?” he whispered brokenly, his voice small and scared, “Everyone knows. Everyone knows Phil.”

Phil sighed and pulled Dan close, enveloping the brunette in a tight embrace. “I don’t know,” he murmured into Dan’s messy hair, his eyes closing as a tear slipped out, “We’ll just have to get through it, I guess. But it’ll be okay, it’ll be okay.”

 


	7. Chapter 6

School was tough. Dan was seven months pregnant and everyone knew it, his blazer no longer fastened over his stomach in an attempt to hide the growth. He didn’t see the point in trying to conceal his pregnant belly, not when the whispers that echoed through the halls behind him let him know that the news had already spread to every corner of the school.

Luckily, things rarely moved past verbal abuse; though he had, on occasion, been shoved against the lockers or had food thrown at him from the other side of corridor. It was only when he was alone that things got to that point though, Phil presence seemed to ward away most of the braver dickheads. So, of course, Dan spent as much time as possible under Phil’s arm. They had quite a few lessons together so it wasn’t too hard for Dan to stick to his boyfriend’s side, but Dan did have drama alone while Phil had English.

They managed it though, even if Dan didn’t quite give Phil all the details of what happened when people harassed him on his way to and from drama. “Just a bit of name calling,” he’d say dismissively whenever Phil probed deeper into what happened, “Nothing out of the usual.”

Phil would generally give him a concerned look but let the subject drop, trusting Dan to open up if anything serious happened.

“Are you sure you don’t want to change to doing half days?” Phil asked when Dan sat down heavily into the bus seat beside him, letting out a loud, tired sounding sigh. Phil knew how taxing the school day was on Dan’s body now; it exhausted him if the fact he needed an two hour nap every day before dinner was anything to go by, “The teachers said you could if you needed to.”

“No, no I’m alright with the full days,” Dan said quietly, opening his tired eyes and giving Phil a reassuring smile, “I just get a bit worn out. I want to stay in school as long as I can, then I have a chance of doing my exams this year.” 

“Dan, you’ll be eight months when exams start,” Phil said sceptically. Dan was so determined to carry on as if there wasn’t a human life growing inside of him and, while it was admirable, it was also extremely annoying when he wouldn’t admit to needing help, “Maybe it’d be best to just do them next year. The school would understand.”

“I’ll be able to do them,” Dan waved off Phil’s concern, slouching further into his seat as he yawned widely, “Stop worrying.”

“I just don’t want you to put yourself under too much stress, especially when you get closer to your due date.”

“It’ll be fine Phil, I’ll be able to tell if things get too much,” Dan slipped his hand into Phil while the other rested on his stomach, “Our stop’s coming up now I think, c’mon.”

Dan clumsily got to his feet and bumbled down the bus, the baby bump messing with his centre of gravity. He pressed the ‘Stop’ button, then thanked the driver as he and Phil stepped out onto the grimy pavement of the town centre.

They were about to meet up with a prospective set of adoptive parents for the baby, ones they’d picked out from the files of suitable candidates the adoption agency had sent through to them.

Dan had chosen to see a carrier and his husband as their first choice. The couple were in their early thirties, one was a paediatrician and the other was a computer programmer so they were in a perfect financial position and Dan had been assured they would have sufficient time  out of work to care for his baby. They had a three bedroom house in Shepherd’s Bush with a garden and good school nearby. They were perfectly set up to start a family.

Sadly, the carrier - Josh - was infertile, something he didn’t find out until he’d miscarried three times. Dan had been touched by the words in the adoption application, deciding to try and give the couple something they desperately wanted but couldn’t have themselves. He also knew that the chances of his baby being a carrier were very high, so he figured having another carrier in the household would probably be a good idea. There was no way he’d risk having his baby grow up with people as intolerant as his own parents, people who would judge and despise them purely for who they were.

He and Phil walked into the snug, family run coffee shop they’d planned the meeting at, Dan heading over to a booth while Phil went to get them drinks. About ten minutes after Phil returned, the bell over the door jingled as the patent red door pushed past it to let another couple into the cheerful little cafe.

They recognised Dan and Phil straight away, Dan being the only pregnant person in the room, and headed over, shaking Dan and Phil’s hands before sitting down opposite at the small table.

“William and Josh?” Dan asked, feeling a little awkward and subconsciously rubbing his hand across his stomach. He felt the baby kick gently, as if to reassuring him, and smiled softly.

“Yep, it’s so nice to meet you,” William smile, his forest green eyes sparkling with hope. Dan felt glad that he and Phil had put that there, “Thank you so much for considering us, it means the world.”

“It was mostly Dan’s choice,” Phil chuckled, wrapping an arm around Dan’s waist, “He said you seemed most deserving out of all the people the agency passed through to us.”

“That’s very kind of you Dan,” Josh smiled, chuckling softly as Dan blushed and stuttered out a reply.

“It-It’s my pleasure, I thought something good may as well come from this pregnancy,” he said with a small shrug, leaning in to Phil a little before breaking the slightly awkward silence that fell across them, “I’m not really sure what we’re meant to talk about to be honest, we know pretty much everything about you from your adoption application. Do you…uh…have any questions you want to ask us?”

“I think it’s meant to just give you two a chance to meet us, work out if you like us enough to let us adopt the baby,” Josh shrugged, still smiling widely despite the awkwardness. Dan registered that they both seemed to be genuinely friendly people, the kind who would be able to raise a child right, “But since you asked, we were wondering what sort of involvement you wanted to have with the baby? We won’t judge you if you want to stay out completely, but we’re open to anything.”

Dan and Phil exchanged a look, Phil pulling his lip between his teeth for a moment before answering. “Well, we haven’t really thought it through properly yet,” he said slowly, carefully thinking through each word, “We think we’d like the baby to know who we were at least, so they don’t feel we abandoned them or anything and understand why we chose the path we did, but I don’t think either of us are ready to take an active role in their life. Sorry about that, we should’ve thought of it, really.”

“That’s perfectly alright,” William nodded with a reassuring smile, Josh affirming the statement with a nod of his own, “We actually you’ve done amazingly well so far. To be dealing with this when you’re just sixteen and to have made such a responsible decision, it’s very admirable.”

“Oh-I-We’re not really,” Dan mumbled, flushing red, “I’m just a stupid kid who got himself knocked up at sixteen.”

“And you’ve handled it much more maturely than some adults would,” William added, his green eyes locking onto Dan’s and holding them with a kind sternness, “You really have. Most people I know wouldn’t have sorted things out so quickly, I mean, you’d already contacted the adoption agency before you were even five months along. I think that’s incredibly responsible, especially considering you’re so young.”

“I’d…never really thought of it like that,” Dan murmured, a smile slowly creeping onto his face, “Thank you. Now, important question, will you let the kid play Pokemon?”

—————————

“I think we should definitely pick William and Josh,” Dan said as he slotted his books into his locker. He never used to use it, but he couldn’t really handle carrying everything all day anymore and, if he didn’t use the locker, Phil would offer to carry it all and Dan was a little fed up of feeling such a burden to his boyfriend, “They’re really lovely and I think they’d make great parents.”

“Yeah, I think they’d be perfect, and they’re up for any arrangement we want in regards to seeing the baby too,” Phil said from where he was leant against the metal doors beside Dan’s

locker. He wanted to help his boyfriend shuffle the books around, but he respected Dan’s want for independance.

“And they know what Pokemon is,” Dan added with a snicker, shutting his locker and swinging his bag up onto his shoulder, “I really wasn’t expecting that. Anyways, I’ll see you after drama, yeah? I’ll wait outside your classroom.”  
Phil nodded and quickly kissed Dan, murmuring a farewell before watching the boy waddle off towards his lesson. The extent to which Dan’s bump was affecting his movement enforced the idea that maybe he shouldn’t be up on his feet and walking around all day, but Dan wouldn’t have it. Phil wondered what it would take for his boyfriend to realise that people took pregnancy leave for a reason.

Dan had special permission to leave for lessons early so he could avoid the crush of students that filled the hall between periods, so he was usually alone on his walk to drama. Any encounters with bullies were usually when the lesson was after lunch or break, but the usually serene halls felt different that day. Dan had a strange fluttering in his stomach that was more than just the baby moving, and he swore he could feel the hairs at the back of his neck starting to rise.

The strange sensations were soon explained when Dan heard an all too familiar voice behind him, one that sent shivers of dread running down his spine.

“Aww, has the whore been left all alone,” Callum, a boy who acted as if Dan’s pregnancy was a personal insult to his whole family, called from the other end of the corridor.

Dan sighed and turned to look at the other boy, knowing it would be futile to try and run away. “I’m not a whore,” he said tiredly, backing up a few steps as Callum advanced towards him rather menacingly.

“We both know that’s a lie, don’t we Danny boy,” Callum laughed cruelly, now less than a foot away from Dan, “Only a whore would get knocked up before he’d even finished sixth form. You’re a slut and the whole school knows it.”

“Are you just going to repeat your usual insults? Because I need to get to drama-” Dan’s words were cut off as he was pushed into the lockers, the blow from the cold metal leaving him breathless.

“Don’t get smart with me,” Callum hissed, leaning over Dan’s stomach so he could get right in his face, the scent of stale cigarette smoke on his breath making Dan’s face twist into a grimace, “You’re just a dumb slut, no wonder your parents kicked you out. I’d be disgraced by you too.”

“Shut up,” Dan snapped, his gaze steely, “Don’t talk about my parents like that, you don’t even know what happened.”

“Yes I do,” Callum let out a harsh laugh, relishing in getting such a reaction from Dan, “They abandoned you because they’re disgusted at having such a slutty freak for a son.”

“ _Shut up!_ ” Dan shouted, shoving against Callum’s shoulders and causing him to stumble backwards a couple steps. Callum’s face took on an expression of shock for a moment - Dan had never retaliated with actual force - though anger soon replaced it, making Dan start to back away down the corridor hurriedly.

“Get back here you little shit!” Callum growled, starting after Dan who had turned to get away faster, his face blanched in fear.

Thanks to Callum’s surprise, Dan had managed to get a decent head start despite being hobbled by his bulbous belly and slightly swollen ankles. Panting as he started to descend a staircase, he turned slightly to look over his shoulder to gauge how much further he’d be able to run before Callum caught up. If he could just get a little further, just to the bottom of the stairs, he’d be close enough to his drama classroom to shout for the teacher. He’d be teased mercilessly for calling out to the teacher, but he was genuinely scared of what Callum was going to do.

But, Dan didn’t make it to the drama classroom, he didn’t even make it two more steps. The combination of his pregnancy-enhanced clumsiness and turning to look over his shoulder meant his feet got tangled in each other, making his heart skip a beat as he suddenly found the air rushing past him, his body weight no longer supported by his own legs.

He vaguely registered Callum cursing behind him before he slammed down against the stairs, the edge of a step colliding with his ribs and sending a shock of pain through his chest. He cried out as he tumbled down the remainder of the flight, his body being buffeted from all angles by the solid concrete of the stairs.

He felt another jolt of searing pain flash through his arm, but his reacting scream died in his throat as his head struck the tiles at the bottom and he was immediately swallowed by numb darkness.

His ragdolled body came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, laying motionlessly and curled slightly around his pregnant stomach as blood oozed lazily from the large gash above his eyebrow.

 


	8. Chapter 7

Phil’s heart pounded against his ribs as he hurried after the teacher. He’d been called out of his English lesson by a very flustered looking teacher, not getting any more information than, “Dan’s hurt, come quick.”

Even though his mind was reeling with possibilities about what could have happened to his vulnerable boyfriend, no amount of terrified theorising could have prepared him for the sight he met when he reached the top of the stairs.

The crimson blood dripping down Dan’s soft tanned face, entirely devoid of any sign of consciousness. The limp body, completely motionless apart from the slight rise and fall of his chest. The way his left forearm was bent unnaturally in the middle, jagged white shards jutting out from a mangled wound.

Phil heard a strangled noise erupt from inside his chest and he was down the stairs in a flash, not caring that he bruised his knees when he fell to the floor beside the inert form of his boyfriend.

“I-I-What happened?” he asked, his breath coming in gasps as his eyes flicked between the small group of teachers, begging for an explanation.

“We-uh-We don’t know exactly,” Mrs. Fisher, Dan’s drama teacher said, slightly awkward but obviously very worried, “I heard the noise and found him like this. I don’t know what happened.”

“Have you called an ambulance. He- he needs an ambulance?” Phil asked jerkily.

“Of course we have, they said they’ll be here in about ten minutes,”

Phil nodded and turned his focus back down to Dan, gently pushing the slightly bloody fringe away from his closed eyes. “It’ll be alright Dan,” he whispered, moving his hand to rest on Dan’s baby bump, “It’ll be alright.”

————————–

Dan had come around halfway through the ambulance ride, spiralling into panic almost immediately. They’d strapped him down to a spinal board, his head held down between two thick blocks, meaning he couldn’t move and the only thing in his field of vision was the unfamiliar ceiling of the ambulance.

Phil didn’t realise Dan was awake until he heard the sound of the heart monitor speeding up, Dan’s uninjured arm lifting up to start clawing at the straps around his head. “Nonono,” Phil said quickly, grabbing Dan’s hand and moving so he was hovering over Dan’s face, looking down into a pair of terrified brown eyes, “It’s okay Dan. You fell down the stairs at school so you’re in an ambulance. They’ve strapped you down just in case you’ve hurt your neck, you need to stay still.”

“I-The ba-by,” Dan choked out around his panicked breaths, the words only just comprehensible through the oxygen mask he was wearing, “Is the baby o-okay?”

“I…We don’t know yet,” Phil whispered, swallowing down tears and forcing himself to ignore all the possibilities his brain threw up. Dan could’ve sustained a lot of trauma to his stomach during the fall, causing god knows how much damage to the foetus growing inside him, “The doctors are going to have a look when you get to hospital.”

Dan let out a weak sob, his hand squeezing Phil’s so tightly his knuckles blanched, “What if it’s dead Phil? What if the baby’s dead or hurt or-or-”

“No Dan, don’t think like that,” Phil cut over him sternly, running his thumb across Dan’s knuckles, “We just need to wait and see and stay calm, getting worked up will only make things worse.”

Dan nodded as best he could with his head immobilised, not being able to say any more as a wave of pain rolled through him. “Ah! It hurts so bad,” he squeaked, his face scrunching up and his teeth clenching together.

“Can’t you do something?” Phil said to the paramedic, looking pleadingly up at one of the paramedics. He hated seeing Dan in pain.

“Well, we could give him some morphine. It’ll help with the pain,” the paramedic suggested, looking at Phil for an answer.

“Yes! Fucking anything to stop this!” Dan pretty much shouted, making Phil jump a little at the suddenness, “It hurts!”

“Please, give it to him,” Phil said, using the hand Dan wasn’t trying to crush to stroke Dan’s face, carefully avoiding the wound over his eyebrow.

The paramedic nodded and got a needle ready, flicking it a few times to get the bubbles out then leaning over so Dan could see her. “Okay Dan, I’m going to give you something for the pain now,” she said, speaking slowly and enunciating each word to make sure Dan understood even in his pain filled haze, “There will be a sharp scratch and it might make you feel a bit foggy or sleepy but try your hardest to stay awake for us.”

Dan made a vague noise to show he’d heard and the paramedic quickly jabbed him with the needle. It took a few minutes, but Phil watched as Dan’s muscles slowly lost their tension, the medication numbing him and helping him escape the pain. Phil kept hold of his hand as the grip loosened, kissing Dan’s knuckles gently and sending a silent prayer to whoever was listening that Dan and the baby would be okay.

——————————

“Anyone here for Daniel Howell?” Phil stood up as soon as he heard the name, his lower back aching somewhat from the hard plastic of the waiting room chair. The nurse smile at him and gestured for Phil to follow her, starting to speak as their feet squeaked along the linoleum floor, “Daniel’s asleep at the moment and he’s stable, so you can go in and see him. The doctor will speak to you about his condition.”

“Do you know if the baby’s okay?” Phil asked, nervously fiddling with the tie he was twisting between his hands. He still hadn’t had a chance to change out of his school uniform.

“I can’t tell you that, I’m afraid,” the nurse said with an apologetic smile. Phil just nodded and fell into silence.

Phil’s already aching heart throbbed when he was shown into Dan’s room, taking in the unconscious form laying in the hospital bed. Even with his big pregnant belly, Dan looked so…small. He was swamped with wired and tubes and his left arm was encased in a thick white cast, an oxygen mask taking up most of his lower face, ultimately making him look very young and vulnerable.

“Oh Dan,” he breathed, making his way over to the bed and setting himself down into the chair at Dan’s bedside. He carefully lifted the sleeping boy’s hand and laced their fingers together, taking care not to jostle the cannula that had been inserted there.

The nurse left him and Phil just sat in silence, watching the clear plastic of the mask fog up with each of Dan’s steady exhales, until the doctor arrived with Dan’s medical notes.

“Can you please tell me he’s going to be okay?” Phil asked, not caring that he sounded somewhat like a petulant child. He just wanted to know Dan wasn’t dying.

“Well, he’s going to be a bit sore, but overall he’s going to be okay,” the doctor gave Phil a reassuring smile and came to stand next to him, his eyes scanning over Dan’s body, “He’ll probably have a concussion and his arm is broken badly, though we’ve set it so he won’t need surgery and we’ll put it in a proper cast once he’s awake. He has some bruising around his body but there doesn’t seem to be any serious damage. And we want to monitor it a bit more, but the ultrasound has shown that the baby seems to be perfectly okay for now.”

Phil felt himself almost sag with relief. Dan was going to be fine. The baby was going to be fine. “Thank you,” he breathed, looking up at the doctor with honest gratefulness in his eyes, “Thank you for looking after him.”

“It’s my pleasure,” the doctor replied, noting some things down in Dan’s notes before placing them back in the small holder at the bottom of Dan’s bed, “Do you have any more questions?”

“Yeah, when will he wake up?”

“He should be waking up fairly soon. He might be a bit confused when he wakes up because of the concussion, maybe with some blurred vision, slight memory loss or drowsiness, but just be patient and explain everything to him carefully. If you need any assistance just press that call button over the bed.”

Phil nodded and thanked the doctor again before he left, telling Phil someone would be in to check on Dan in about an hour.

Phil just watched Dan’s peaceful sleeping face, gently running his thumb over Dan’s knuckles, until it pinched a little and his eyes started to flutter.

“Hey there sleepy head,” Phil cooed once Dan’s eyes had opened, shuffling his chair a little closer and combing his fingers through Dan’s now curly fringe. He saw the confusion cross his boyfriend’s dark irises and quickly explained what was happening, not wanting him to get distressed, “You’re in hospital love, you fell down the stairs at school. You’ve broken your arm and hit you head, so things might be a bit fuzzy and confused, but you and the baby are both okay. Everything’s okay.”

“I…the baby’s okay?” Dan’s voice was barely there and muffled by the oxygen mask, his eyes already starting to droop again.

“Yeah, I think they’re going to do another ultrasound later just to make sure but the doctor said it all looks fine,” Phil murmured, still carding his fingers through Dan’s hair and watching as it just increased his drowsiness. Dan had always had a thing for having his hair stroked.

“That’s good,” Dan breathed, struggling to get his eyes stay open, “I’m sleepy Phil. Is that bad?”

“No Dan, it’s all fine. You’ve got a concussion and that can make you tired,” Phil chuckled at Dan’s adorableness, “Go back to sleep if you need to, I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

Dan’s eyes had closed before Phil even finished speaking, his breathing already starting to slow down, “Mmmm, okay. Love you Phil. Night night.”

“Night night Dan.”

————————-

A few days later, after Dan and the baby had been carefully monitored and declared healthy, Dan was finally discharged and they were allowed to go home. Dan was still a bit muddled from the concussion and, of course, had chosen to have a bright orange cast put onto his arm.

They were currently sat in the back of Phil’s father’s car, Dan leant against Phil’s side dozily. The doctors had said he’d probably be pretty fatigued for a few more days, maybe with a little forgetfulness and disorientation, but that it shouldn’t take too long to clear up. If the symptoms persisted for more than a week, Phil had been instructed to bring Dan back in for another scan.

“Try and stay awake until we get home,” Phil whispered, gently jostling Dan with his shoulder to stop him dropping off, “Only ten more minutes.”  
Dan gave Phil a noncommittal grunt in response, but Phil noticed how his eyes stayed open for the rest of the car journey.

After helping Dan up the stairs and settling him down into bed, Phil lay down beside him and pulled him onto his chest. It had been a little awkward for them to lie in such a way when they were still getting used to the baby bump, but they’d eventually worked out the perfect position and could now cuddle perfectly. It also allowed Phil to rest a hand on Dan’s stomach, gently caressing the bump and feeling the occasional kick from their baby, while his other played with Dan’s hair or held him closer.

“If you’re not tired you don’t have to stay with me,” Dan mumbled into Phil’s shirt, “I don’t mind.”

“No, I want to be here,” Phil replied, his voice just above a whisper to match the quiet atmosphere of the room, “I’ve missed being able to cuddle you properly. I can’t believe they wouldn’t let me up onto the bed with you.”

Dan chuckled sleepily, “It was probably for good reason. You and I both know that you would’ve knocked my drip out or broken something.”

“Shut up. If you didn’t have a concussion or a baby inside you I’d _so_ push you off this bed right now.”  
“No you wouldn’t because you love me and think I’m adorable when I’m sleepy,” Dan’s voice was smug, making Phil shake his head.

“Shut up,” Phil muttered again, getting a short bark of laughter from Dan.

Phil glanced down at his boyfriend, his eyes drawn to the slightly garish cast on his arm and the stitched up cut over his eyebrow. They were so lucky, the incident could have resulted in far worse than a broken arm and knocked head. Dan could’ve lost the baby, Dan could’ve lost the use of his legs, Phil could’ve lost Dan. Dan could’ve actually _died_.

Phil had tried to get the full story of what happened out of Dan, but hadn’t had much success. He’d found out that someone had been chasing Dan and that was why he’d tried to run down the stairs, but hadn’t been able to squeeze a name out of Dan yet. He’d just gotten a shrug and a mutter of, “It won’t make a difference and I’d rather just leave it.”

“Dan,” Phil whispered into the silent room, looking down and seeing Dan’s eyes slowly flutter open, “I know you won’t tell me who, but it was someone at school who caused the fall, wasn’t it?”

Dan nodded slowly, cautiously.

“I think…I think you should stop school for now,” Phil said slowly, knowing Dan would be very unhappy about this suggestion, “What if someone does something like this again?”

“It’ll be fine Phil, I can handle some immature bullies just fine,” Dan said indignantly.

“Dan, you could’ve been really hurt, you could’ve-could’ve died,” Phil choked on the words, swallowing down the lump that always formed in his throat when he thought about how close he had come to possibly losing Dan forever, “You could’ve died Dan. I’ll pay to hire you a tutor or something if you really want to try and do exams this year, but I don’t want you going back to school. Not when there’s people there that want to hurt you this much.”

Dan was silent for a moment, looking up into Phil’s, emotion charged eyes. Eventually, he sighed and closed his eyes again. “Alright, I’ll take time off school,” he sighed, leaning back against Phil’s chest, “I’ll give the school a call in the moment, see what they said about how I can continue with my courses.”

“Thank you, I just want you be safe and I really don’t think you are at school,” Phil placed a kiss to Dan’s forehead, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Dan replied before giving into the tiredness and drifting off to sleep.

 


	9. Chapter 8

“I’m bored.”

“Phil, come do something with me.”

“ _Phiiiiil_ _._ ”

“Oh my god, the baby just exploded out of my stomach! There’s so much blood, help me Phil! It’s like that scene from Alien!”

Phil let out a groan and spun around in his desk chair, blue eyes scanning over the heavily pregnant boy sprawled across his bed. Dan’s due date was about a month away and it was more than obvious he couldn’t wait to get it over and done with. He’d already completed Phil’s stack of Xbox games and was currently working his way through Phil’s old Pokemon games. To say he was bored staying home every day was a gross understatement.

“Dan, I know you’ve been on your own all day but I really need to revise. My English exam is in three days,” Phil sighed, getting an unhappy whine in response.

“Isn’t there anything I can do to help?” Dan grumbled, looking up at Phil from where his head was hanging over the edge of the bed, “Like when I tested you on dates for history?”

“No Dan, I’ve got to practise being able to write this essay. I’ll work for another hour then we’ll do something. That sound good?”

        “I guess.”

Dan managed to occupy himself with his phone for about half an hour before he dropped it onto the bed next to him and groaned, “Are you almost done _now_?”

“You are so demanding,” Phil rolled his eyes and put his pen down, moving over to lay beside Dan on the bed, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him in for a cuddle, “My little diva.”

“I’m pregnant, I’m allowed to boss you around,” Dan giggled sweetly, his dimple pressing deeply into his cheek, “You’re my whipped bitch.”

“You’re lucky you’re so cute,” Phil muttered, pulling Dan in for a loving kiss. His hand moved to rest on Dan’s stomach, stroking it gently with his thumb and feeling the baby thump gently towards his hand from the inside.

——————————–

        Two weeks later and Dan was still just as fed up with living idly, the hormones not helping with the frustration induced crankiness. He’d get sulky when Phil didn’t pay enough attention to him and get snappy when Phil was overbearing. There was a fine line between the two, one Phil was constantly stumbling over. He knew it was just the pregnancy getting to him, but Phil really couldn’t wait to get his boyfriend back.

        He’d just gone downstairs to get a glass of orange juice when Dan started calling for him. Phil had to take a deep breath and internalise his groan, pushing down the annoyance at Dan’s clinginess that day.

        Thinking Dan was just after more cuddles, Phil took his time getting his drink and grabbing a packet of crisps, ignoring the repeated shouts of his name from upstairs. As he was climbing the stairs, Dan’s voice suddenly raised an octave, the fear obvious in the curse word that followed Phil’s name.

        Realising that this was something more than Dan demanding attention, Phil dropped everything he was holding and ran the rest of the distance to his bedroom, opening the door to find Dan sitting on the edge of his bed, his face screwing up in pain and his hand clutching his stomach. There was a large wet patch staining Dan’s trousers, turning the light marl to a dark grey.

        “Phil! Phil I think my-my water’s broke,” Dan panted once he’d relaxed a little, the pain leaving for now. He looked up, his slightly panicked eyes meeting with the completely stunned ones of his boyfriend, “Phil! The baby’s coming! Snap out of it and call a fucking ambulan-Ah!”

        Dan’s cry of pain brought Phil to his senses and, luckily, his instincts seemed to know just what to do. He whipped his phone out and dialled 999, moving to sit with Dan as he spoke to the operator and explained the situation. He thanked the woman and hung up after she promised an ambulance would be there in about ten minutes.

        Phil was at a bit of a loss with how to handle Dan, having to settle for just wrapping his arms around him and trying his best to comfort the whimpering boy. The pain would hit him in short bursts before ebbing away, making Dan clutch at his stomach and suck in a breath through his teeth. Phil wished he could alleviate the pain in some way, like when he’d soothe Dan’s aching back or ankles with gentle massages, but he could only rub his hand up and down Dan’s arms and mutter useless reassurances.

        After what must’ve seemed like an eternity to Dan, the doorbell rang and Phil flew down the stairs, leading the paramedics upstairs and taking his place back beside Dan. Phil tried to follow what was being said, but everything was happening too fast and he couldn’t quite think straight because _fuck Dan was about to have a baby._

        All of a sudden everyone was moving, one of the paramedics helping Dan into a wheelchair while the other gathered up everything they’d used. Dan was clutching the handheld nozzle they’d given him, taking deep breaths of gas and air whenever he was hit with a contraction. Phil stumbled along with everyone as they hurried out of the room, down the stairs and into the ambulance, the journey to hospital flying past in a blur of medical jargon and pain filled cries from Dan. Despite the disorientation, Phil found that his hand never left Dan’s once.

        Before long, they’d arrived at the hospital and Dan was taken through to the carrier maternity unit, a familiar face greeting them when they arrived.

        “You’re early Dan,” Kyle, the midwife who’d worked with them throughout Dan’s pregnancy, joked, trying to lighten the mood of what he knew would be a terrifying few hours for Dan, “Wasn’t expecting you for a few more weeks.”

        “Mmm you should know me by now,” Dan laughed tightly, the stress and fear still clear despite the attempt at putting up somewhat cheerful facade, “Never one to stick to schedules.”

        Kyle went along with the act and laughed, knowing that even fake happiness would help Dan right now. “Right, let’s get you into a hospital gown then I’ll take a look and see what we’re going to do.”

——————————-

        It was tough for Dan but, a lot of screaming, crying and swearing later, just as Phil thought Dan was going to crush his fingers from squeezing so hard, a shrill cry filled the room and Dan collapsed back onto the bed.

        “It’s a little boy!” Kyle trilled over the bawling of the baby, quickly cleaning the tiny body and handing him over to Dan.

        Sweaty and a little shell shocked, all Dan could do was mutter a quiet, “Oh,” as he stared down at the crying bundle in his arms. It was pink and shrivelled and the wailing was already giving him a headache, but this was the baby that had been growing inside of him for nine months. The mash up of his and Phil’s DNA. Their baby.

        “He’s so tiny,” Phil breathed, leaning over Dan’s shoulder, “He’s…tiny.”

        “Babies do tend to be pretty small,” Kyle snickered, a fond smile on his face as he watched the trio. After giving them a few more minutes, Kyle took the baby and starting running all the standard tests and examinations.

        “I’m so proud of you,” Phil whispered as took a seat beside Dan, kissing his cheek sweetly and brushing the sweat soaked hair away from his clammy forehead, “You were amazing.”

        “I didn’t really have much choice in the matter, did I?” Dan chuckled breathily, looking exhausted as all the exertion caught up with him. There was something else in his expression too, something Phil couldn’t quite discern.

        “You alright?” Phil asked, cocking his head to the side a little as he looked at Dan.

        “Yeah yeah, I’m just tired,” Dan said a little too quickly, smiling a little too falsely in Phil’s direction, “Do you want to call William and Josh, we said we’d call them whenever there was any news.”

        “I will,” Phil nodded, sighing internally. He knew Dan was hiding something, but it would be unfair to start interrogating him now, “How about you have a rest while I give them a ring? Then I should be back before Kyle is with the baby.”

        “Yeah, okay,” Dan smiled sleepily, giving Phil’s hand a squeeze before snuggling himself down into the bed. He closed his eyes and Phil quickly kissed him on the cheek, whispering a goodbye before making his way out of the room, pulling his phone out as he did so.

        Phil was a little longer on the phone than he’d anticipated, accidentally slipping into a conversation with Josh about how his exams had gone. Phil was surprised about how much the couple genuinely cared about he and Dan and it was reassuring to know the baby was going to good people.

        It was half an hour later when Phil made his way back to the room Dan was in, expecting to wait silently while Dan slept for William and Josh to arrive, but he froze at the doorway. He peered through the thin strip of glass in the white door, unsure how to feel about the scene he was witnessing inside.

        Dan was sat up in his bed, his head bowed over a bundle of soft blue blankets. His hand was hovering over the small parting in the fabric, one finger a little more extended than the others and moving back and forth ever so slightly. Phil watched as Dan stopped the gentle caresses and bent over, pressing a kiss to the baby’s head before sitting up straight and carefully placing him into the cot that had been set up alongside his own bed.

        Phil wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to let Dan bond with the baby in such way but, though he wasn’t quite sure why, he just smiled and entered the room, acting as if he was none the wiser to the feelings Dan was harbouring inside him.

 


	10. Chapter 9

  “Phil?” Josh’s voice came from the doorway and Phil looked up, smiling weakly at the two grinning men, “How is he?”

            “He’s doing fine, long day though,” Phil murmured, gesturing to the fast asleep Dan laying on the bed. It hadn’t been long after Phil sat down beside him that Dan had drifted off, the events of the day finally catching up to him.

            Though they really did care about Dan’s welfare, Phil knew the main reason Josh and William were here was to be their baby’s adoptive parents.  So, Phil got to his feet and carefully lifted the baby out of his cot, cradling him carefully against his chest. Phil looked down into his son’s tiny face for a moment, entranced as his toothless mouth opened up into a yawn before he settled back to sleep in Phil’s arms.

            Phil shook his head a little to remind himself that, while he was his biologically, he wasn’t going to be this baby’s father. So, plastering a smile onto his face, Phil took the bundle over to the other couple and held it out towards Josh. “Here, why don’t you hold him?”

            “Oh-Oh he’s gorgeous,” Josh breathed once the baby was in his arms, already transfixed, “William look, he’s so beautiful.”

            “He really is,” William murmured, delicately stroking the baby’s face before looking up at Phil, his smile lighting up his whole face, “Thank you Phil, thank you so much for this.”

            “It’s our pleasure,” Phil said quietly, moving back to sit beside Dan so the couple could have some time with the baby. He gently slipped his hand into Dan’s, running his thumb across the sleeping boy’s knuckles while William and Josh murmured quietly to the baby.

It was about fifteen minutes later that Dan started to stir, his eyes slowly fluttering open and a tired smile appearing on his face. His eyes wandered over to the empty cot and widened, his breathing picking up as he tried to push himself up to look around the room.

“Where’s my b-” Phil saw Dan’s tense body visibly relax when he spotted the baby in William’s arms, sagging down onto the bed with a sigh, “Oh, hi William, hi Josh.”

“Hi Dan,” Josh smiled over distractedly, quickly having his attention drawn back to the baby. They didn’t seem to have noticed Dan’s mini freak out.

“You alright, love?” Phil whispered, still holding onto Dan’s hand. It was already obvious that Dan had become attached to the baby, Phil just hoped it was a natural response that would diminish quickly, “You still look really tired.”

“Well, I did give birth less than twenty four hours ago. I think I’m allowed to be tired,” Dan joked, though the smile didn’t quite reach his worried eyes, “I-uh-I take it William and Josh like him?”

“Of course they do, they’d love him even if he’d been born with a tail.”

Dan laughed hollowly and looked over with sad eyes to the couple holding his baby. No, _their_ baby. They were adopting him, he was theirs. He wasn’t Dan’s.

———————————–

Phil had left the room for less than half an hour to get he and Dan something to eat and had expected to come back to the same serene, happy atmosphere he’d left. He certainly didn’t expect to find William shouting, Dan in tears and Kyle standing between them trying to calm them both down, the baby screaming in Josh’s arms.

“Give him to me! He’s my baby!” Dan’s tearful shout echoed down the hall as Phil pushed open the door, eyes wide in confusion, “I gave birth to him! He’s mine!”

“Woah, what’s going on?” Phil’s eyebrows furrowed as he walked over to Dan, putting an arm around Dan’s shoulders to try and give the sobbing boy some comfort.

“Dan’s having some … second thoughts on the adoption,” Kyle explained, Dan whimpering out another ‘he’s mine’ while Josh held the baby protectively, fire in William’s eyes as he held his partner against his side, “Josh, Dan still has legal custody over the child. He has four days after the birth in which he can revoke the adoption application. If he wants the baby back, you have to give it to him.”

“Wait wait, just give us a minute alone,” Phil said as calmly as he could over the baby wailing and Dan weeping, looking over at Kyle, “You take the baby and wait outside with Josh and William. Dan’s never going to calm down with everyone shouting.”

Phil ignored Dan’s protests until they were alone, then climbed onto the bed and pulled the tearful boy into his chest, slowly carding his hand through Dan’s hair to calm him down. “Right, take some deep breaths and settle yourself, then tell me what’s got you into such a state.” Phil knew he was being a little patronising to Dan but, in his state, Dan wouldn’t notice nor care.

“I-I just…He’s my baby,” Dan choked out around his tears, looking up at Phil with watery brown eyes, the despair not hidden in the slightest, “I was watching Josh holding him and thinking about-about how we made him and I carried him for nine months and he’s _my baby_. I don’t-I can’t give him away Phil.”

“Dan, you need to think about this seriously,” Phil sighed, using his thumb to gently wipe away the tears that soaked his boyfriend’s cheeks, “We chose adoption so you could finish school properly. Josh and William said we can visit whenever we want. You’re sixteen Dan, you need to think about what’s best for the baby and what’s best for you.”

“But, Phil he’s mine,” Dan said imploringly, pulling his lip between his teeth and looking down into his lap, “I know it’s going to be really hard and I won’t be able to go to school properly but I-I want to keep him Phil. I don’t want to give him away. I thought I’d be able to, that I was only attached to him because he was inside me. But as soon as I saw him and held him I … I can’t give him away Phil. You can leave me and kick me out and I’ll understa-”

“Woah woah Dan, I’m not going to kick you out,” Phil interrupted quickly, gently holding Dan’s chin and forcing him look back up, “I told you at the start of all this that I would stick by you because this is as much my doing as yours; it’d be unfair and cruel for me to make you deal with the consequences alone. I’ll stand by you if you want to keep the baby or if you want to give him away, I just want you to make sure you’re certain on what you want to do. You won’t be able to just change your mind.”

“I know that and I know it’s a lot of responsibility, but I want to do this. I want to keep our baby,” Dan said with a determined nod, quickly kissing Phil and murmuring a few loving words before turning serious again, “How’re we going to tell Josh and William? We’ve spent months promising them a baby and now we’re just going to take that all away.”

“I’ll sort it out,” Phil said with a quiet sigh, “Maybe we can do it through the adoption agency. It’s kind of cowardly but I don’t want to see their faces when they’re told.”

Dan nodded in agreement then asked Phil to retrieve Kyle from outside the room. Kyle brought the baby in and handed him Dan before the trio discussed Dan’s change of heart and how things would proceed. Kyle reassured them that everything would go smoothly since they were both still the legal parents of the baby and that they wouldn’t have to have anymore contact with William and Josh. Phil said to pass on their apologies, he really did feel awful but it was ultimately Dan’s decision. Phil would never have forced him into giving the baby away, the guilt and regret would’ve just eaten Dan up for the rest of his life. Besides, he himself had felt that tug of paternal instincts when he held his son.

Eventually, Kyle left them alone and Phil settled down on the bed beside Dan, looking down into the small, sleeping face of their baby. _Their baby_.

“So, we’re actually parents now,” Phil whispered, carefully brushing his finger down the baby’s face, smiling at just how soft his skin was, “We haven’t named him yet. Do you have anything you wanted to name him? I hadn’t even given it any thought.”

“I thought about it a little after one of the scans, I couldn’t help myself. I quite like the name Aiden,” Dan murmured, focusing intently on the baby in his arms, much calmer now that he wasn’t worrying about losing him, “And maybe he could have your dad’s name as his middle name, a kind of thank you for taking me in.”

“Aiden Marc Howell, that sounds nice.”

“He’s having my last name? Are you sure?” Dan frowned.

“Yeah, you were the one who carried him for so long, I think you deserve to have your name on your work.”

“Phil! He’s not a school project,” Dan sniggered, giving Phil a playful shove and shaking his head, “But I don’t mind either way, he can have my last name if that’s what you want.”

Dan slipped into silence for a short while, just looking down at Aiden and leaning into Phil, before speaking again; his voice now once again filled with worry, “Are you sure you’re alright with this Phil. You don’t think I’m being stupid by keeping him?”

“No, I honestly don’t,” Phil replied, kissing Dan’s cheek comfortingly, watching the worried crease between Dan’s eyebrows relax into smoothness once again, “I think it’s perfectly reasonable and, while it’s going to be hard as hell to raise a child, I know we’ll get through it.”

“We’ll get through it,” Dan repeated in a whisper, lifting his gaze from Adrian up to Phil, a smile spreading across his face and love filling his eyes, “We’ll get through it all together, as a family.”

 


End file.
